I really have gotten where I actually could careless if a holiday comes or goes. It usually means either not having the boys or having to only have them part of the time. One reason I really hate it is that I don't have that other person to share it with like their dad does. I know he misses them when they are not with him, but when they are not with me-my house is quiet and there is no one else there but me, the cat and the dog (and Vadar is outside). It just throws everything that has happened over the past 5 years back in my face and I really don't like that or think it is fair. This whole way of life was not my idea or my wish, but it is funny that I am the one that pays for it.